


Gravity

by kuuhu



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Hurt No Comfort, Love/Hate, M/M, Mental Breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 13:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9326171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuuhu/pseuds/kuuhu
Summary: Gravity by Eden song fic





	

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any ideas for songs/OTPs tell me okay?????/ I'd love to write them !!!

I wanted you to be the last thing on my mind

‘“Is something wrong, Arthur?” he said it with such a song in his voice, it seemed like he was singing the question. Arthur just stared down into his cup of now cold liquid. ‘  
The scene kept replaying itself in the Frenchman’s mind.

I wanted you to be the reason I close my eyes

He hadn’t dared to close his eyes yet; he had no reason too. Not anymore. The stars had morphed into something he couldn’t described above him, right before his eyes, but he hadn’t noticed it. ..again, he only realised it had changed once it was obvious.

But I can't sleep

Francis watched the black sky crack in the middle, letting something blinding through. It had stung his eyes every dawn for a week now, and reflected off the empty bottle in his hand. 

And oh god I wanted to be your high

The Frenchman had watched the younger two every day since Alfred was old enough to live on his own. Arthur was worried. About everything. Meaning that he refused to leave the American’s house for a fought night after the official day. They were so close, and the young adult had never failed to make him smile every day.

But everything I said it went unheard

No, he’d never said anything aloud. ..except once. A simple three words were all the Englishman had heard, and four were all what Francis had. He had kept meaning to, but he would always think it would have spoilt a moment. ..so all his feelings remained in his head.

And everything you saw with eyes straight blurred

The fourth of July had come quicker than either of them had expected. Francis had meant to keep him distracted all day and the night before.. he did the latter. Terribly. So there he was, sat, crying, drinking, rambling on about everything. He wasn’t sure why it hurt so much to hear how close they were.. it just did.

Became our downfall

“YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT ARTHUR – NOTHING LASTS FOREVER—“ he hadn’t meant that. He hadn’t meant any of it really, but the pain that flooded over his rival’s face when the last words slipped out of his mouth killed him. 

Cos you say I drink and I smoke and I talk too much

“Stop it,” Francis looked up at him after he said it. Arthur was scowling at him, knuckles white. “Stop drinking, and take that bloody cigarette out of your mouth,” his expression made the Englishman look angry, but his words were filled with sadness.   
“I.. you can’t just tell me that—“  
“That too. Stop it,” he was biting his lip, fighting something back. “Just stop talking.” 

But I know you lied when you said that you just gotta go and save yourself

Francis heard the front door slam from the kitchen. What started as a petty argument over Arthur’s terrible cooking, had transformed into him slipping how he actually felt. He could almost taste the anger in Arthur’s ridged back and tightly balled fists. 

So hear me out

“Wait—“ if he continued, it would have been the third time in that week that he had walked out on him. On them, on everything they had built. And it was all his fault. “Please,” Francis started and Arthur turned back around. He had begun crying a few horrible insults ago, but the other was completely out of tears now. He just stood there, dark circles under his eyes and the scent of wine on his breath. 

You know everybody talks girl

“B-but he said that..” he could see his fingers trembling against his lips. The blonde had always been one for believing everything Alfred had said. He was the first one he’d go to.. usually.  
“And?” that had definitely sounded more like a volcano erupting than a genuine question.

And it means nothing till you let it

“But what does it really mean, Arthur?!” his eye sockets were dry still, the morning had drained them both. Both their voices were raspy and their throats were like they had been attacked. 

But if you keep second guessing then there's only gonna be one end

“IF YOU LIKE LEAVING SO MUCH, THEN WHY DON’T YOU DO IT?!” He had walked out on him every other day for the past month now and every time they had both thought it was over. ..but somehow something inside the Frenchman’s mind didn’t let it be, making Arthur just lose his temper more and more.

But you can leave if you really want to

“I-I..” he stammered, shutting his eyes tightly. He had never meant to pressurise him, but no was surely the only time to make his final decision. Francis watched each second on the clock get quicker each time he blinked. This was taking too long.

And you can run if you feel you have to

“I DON’T KNOW, FRANCIS. I DON’T KNOW—“ Arthur dropped to his knees, smothering his now flooding face with pale hands. Francis just stood above him, with an unreadable expression plastered onto his face, watching him sob. 

Now I'll be fine if you ever ask me

Maybe Arthur thought he didn’t care now, seeing as he never cried when they fought. In fact, he hadn’t seen him cry in just over a year now. Francis watched him cry every time, he couldn’t help it. Of course he wasn’t emotionless nor incapable of crying, he just cried into the bottle. ..and normally forgot why while he did because the bottle was empty. 

I know it’s hard, but no one said its easy

He could just picture him running down the cobblestone path in the slashing rain and rushing straight to Alfred. He’s made a promise a few years ago to always come to him if Alfred came to him. However, the American had very few problems, and Arthur was there nearly every day. Matthew was always there too, but apparently he never noticed. Oh well. Nobody said it wouldn’t tear you apart from the inside. 

Falling's easy

Like sleeping after drinking, or, in Francis’ case, passing out. He didn’t even realise he did it a majority of the time, so he didn’t stop it from happening. Very few times would he be able to just keep drinking until ten in the morning. If he had been thinking throughout the entire night, he wouldn’t want to fall asleep in fear of waking up again. 

But there's only one way up

But he couldn’t do that forever. The Frenchman had woken to the sound of shattering glass as his empty wine glass smashed to the floor. Opening his eyes groggily, he glanced over to the five wine bottles on the table, some on their side and some rolling slightly.   
So I been thinking that I think too much

Maybe he was just over thinking it, he mused in his half-drunken state. Maybe Arthur was just being Arthur, and they would actually just be together forever. Or maybe.. not.

And I can't sleep but I can dream of us

The memories of when things were perfect between them had found their way back into his mind again. Before any serious fighting had begun and the wedding was going to happen without fail. That summer had been brilliant and now Francis couldn’t let go it.

And I've been seeing shit like horror cuts

It had never been the words that hurt either of them, just their meaning; who said it. He was pretty sure Arthur had the same thing too, but he didn’t smoke.. or drink nearly as much as the older did. The sudden flashes, the phrases being screamed again.

Its burning down, I gotta drown this out

Drowning everything out was one of the things that got into the situation in the first place, but it pretended to be helping him out of it. It was like the devil: lying, cheating and horrible.

And you said you need me to let this go

“I just can’t do this anymore,” his face was hidden with his hands, voice muffled, when he spoke. His words seemed so wiry, like he was going to pass out any second. The intense dark circles under his own eyes were mainly because of his bad habits, but Arthur’s only had one cause. And Francis had made him into this, just because he couldn’t forget one thing. 

But it's who I am or am I just losing it

It was obvious, maybe not to Arthur, but to everyone else around him: he was nothing without the British man. He had been so.. weak when he wasn’t around, and they had both helped each other with their own horrible problems. Whichever way round it was, whoever helped who, he knew for certain that he could barely breathe without him.

Cos you said jump and I went first but falling's always been my downfall

“Please,” he was being completely genuine now - no more ridicule. “You don’t need to do this.. I’m here.” The once flirting smirk faded as the other finished speaking. His face was stone cold. Without hesitation, Arthur took the glass from Francis’ hand and just smashed it on the floor. All the while, he was continuing to look him right in the eye.

And you say I drink and I smoke and I talk too much

“I KNOW YOU STUPID MAN—“ There he went again. Francis really didn’t need to speak that much, but of course he couldn’t help himself. The bitterness of his words, and the sourness of Arthur’s.. they clashed too well.   
“SHUT UP!”

But I know you lied when you said that you just had enough and save yourself

Mondays had never been either one their ‘good days’. It always meant the most fighting, especially after what usually happened on the Sunday night.. Maybe the sex was the only thing healthy about the relationship, but even that was pretty rough. It had been in Arthur’s house this time, and Francis had stormed out in the hail that was spitting down on him.

So hear me out

“I know I did, but..” he trailed off, biting his lip hard. The blonde was waiting for an explanation before he decided fully whether to leave or not. Arthur had finally agreed to that without Francis asking; he’d stay and wait just before he was about to go just to listen to what stupid shit the French man had to say to keep him there.

But you can leave if you really want to

But now he was gone. There wasn’t much evidence that he was going to return, but Francis just thought that he would naturally – that’s what always happened. ..that was apparently the best way for them to let off some steam.. shout and fight and leave and make up and make out and make love. And then repeat.

And you can run if you feel you have to

It was clear now: he wasn’t coming back. They usually saw each other the next day, but neither of them showed up at their normal meeting place. Both too scared and afraid of what the other might say. Frightened of rejection.

And I can drink if I feel I have to  
At first he cried, then laughed, then cried some more. After all, an empty house is worse than a small one. The halls and rooms stank of memories he had been trying so hard to forget, so he’d ended up drinking even more than usual. The anger flooded him whenever he looked at the bottle, because it was obvious that that was the cause of all of the problems from the beginning.

I know it’s hard, but I can't feel like I used to

Francis had been so calm after his first fight with Arthur, he’d got over in a matter of hours because he knew that wasn’t the end. However, the weight inside his chest decided to stay for a lot longer than he expected.

Like I used to

Months had passed now, and Francis kept staring at the empty bottle in his hand. All the wine glasses were broken now, shattered to pieces on his bedroom floor. The last time he had felt at peace with the world was.. hard to put an exact date on.. or month.

Cos I used to defy gravity

He used to be able to walk on air, with Arthur of course. The wind used to blow through their hair and light up their faces. He’d never laughed so much.

Defy gravity

Now, standing on the same roof he did with him, it was different. Just because it was a different season, didn’t mean the feeling had to change, did it?

Goodbyes keep dragging me

He’d only taken his phone up with him, and left the glass at the bottom. The screen lit up with a message.  
“Goodbye.”   
The word stung his ear drum.

Down

So the phone shattered like the glasses did when it hit the concrete a good few feet down. A dry chuckle was the only thing that left his lips.

And I'm fighting gravity

He wanted to. He wanted to just walk in straight line for as long as possible now. The edge of his house was only about an inch in front of him, and Arthur was only a few miles away. Everything would be so much better if he could just explain to him.. 

Defying gravity

Francis spun around, an idea suddenly hatching in his mind. The sadness that had been sleeping on him had finally began to wake up and, if this worked, it would leave completely. A simple one word answer was all he needed. He could get over everything he hadn’t been able to if he got a straight answer.

I tried but I keep falling

Maybe it wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be to get over him. ‘A simple one word answer’ had started everything up again.. worse.   
“No.”  
That’s all he needed to say, no emotion, no feeling, no sorry, no sadness.. Arthur was good at hiding it, but he hid it at all the wrong moments.

Cos falling's easy

The only time he’d been out of his house was to get more wine, then curse the bottle and himself for doing so. Then drink himself senseless. It was a vicious circle full of regret and disgusting behaviour.

But it only brings you down

He lay there, staring with blood shot eyes at the white ceiling above him. He’d been there for roughly 24 hours now, a bottle in one hand and regret and hate in the other.


End file.
